Wednesday, January 10, 2018

JAN 10, 2018 - 8:01 AM ET - OLD SAYINGS


"Old sayings are a way of bringing cheer to our faces."

Forrest Caricofe

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**I have a long past because I'm old, 75 years old this last October 27th.

During my long life I've enjoyed old sayings, the following from, WISE OLD 


"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand." – unknown.

"A blonde said, “I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.

I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.”" – courtesy of 

Jack Shea,

"A bulldog can whip a skunk, but sometimes it’s not worth it." – J. Nowell.

"A clean house is a sign of a misspent life." – unknown.

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory." – unknown.

"A closed mouth gathers no feet." – Sam Horn.

"A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple." – John Florio 



"A diplomat is one who thinks twice before saying nothing." – unknown.

"A flatterer never seems absurd: the flatter’d always takes his word." – Ben 

Franklin (1706-1790).

"A friend in need is a pest." – Arthur Daley in the popular 1980’s British sitcom, 

“Minder” – thanks to Rob.

"A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just 

cleaned the whole house." – unknown.

"A man must serve his time in every trade except censure-critics are ready 

made." – Lord Byron (1788-1824).

"A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t." – 

Rhonda Hansome.

"A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting 

for a vacancy in the Trinity. – Mark Twain.

"A teacher’s job is to take a room full of live wires and make sure they are well 

grounded." – unknown (submitted by

"A new, young MD when doing his residency in OB, was quite embarrassed

performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had

unconsciously formed a habit of whistling. The middle-aged lady upon whom

he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further

embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, “I’m

sorry. Was I tickling you?” She replied, “No doctor, but the song you

were whistling was “I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.”" – unknown, courtesy 

of Jack Shea.


"Age is a very high price to pay for maturity." – unknown.

"All the world is mad save for me and thee, and sometimes I wonder about thee. 

– Old Quaker saying – special thanks to the reader who replied to our query.

"All would live long but none would be old." – Ben Franklin (1706-1790).

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away. 

– Cassandra Chatfield.

"An old woman in a nursing home lifted her dress and shouted “supersex, 

supersex!” every time she came upon an old gentleman. Finally she did this 

again in front of an old man who hesitated and said finally, “I’ll have soup.”" – 


"Anyone who doesn’t think there are two sides to an argument is probably in 

one." – unknown

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Ben Franklin (1706


"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets 

angry, he’ll be a mile away and barefoot. – unknown.

 And more and more.....

Thanks again for allowing me to be so lazy today to the unknown at:

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